Random Ramblings

Here I sit, on the eve of my last day of school. It has been an exciting week in my classroom. We have done some learning, had some fun, shared some memories and now its the night before our last day together; my last day of teaching until...?
I am surprised at how I feel tonight. I know that I have made the right decision, and I am so excited to be able to watch my little guys grow up. Yet, there is this feeling of sadness leaving the classroom. I have had so many opportunities this year. I know that God planned that out for me. Right now I am preparing to give a professional development day for fourth grade teachers in English Language Arts. I am excited and nervous. But I also feel sad. I feel sad that I am leaving behind something I am good at. I think it scares me a little. I am sacrificing my career for my family. It sounds so selfish. I think it is just scary. Selfishly, I know I am good at what I do. When I tell people I am resigning they get sad and say  what a loss it is to the district. It makes me question my decision to leave something I am so good at. I know deep down it is so right, but part of me is nervous. What if I can't get a job after? What if  I miss teaching too much? What if, what if, what if?
I remind myself that teaching will always be there for me. I remember the other what if's too. What if there is something beyond teaching? What if I was less stressed? What if I find a new passion? What if this is the best decision of my life?
I know that I don't have to worry. I know my decision is right, but it still is a sad one. I will miss my students. They are the best class I have ever had. I will miss the challenges. Yet, I am excited to make breakfast for my boys. I am excited to drive them to school. I am excited to support my husband. I am excited to keep my house clean! I am excited for playdates. I am excited to see what God has planned for me, when I let go and follow His plan.
This post is not polished, but its real and raw. I wanted to write down what I was feeling; a twist of emotions. I appreciate whoever reads this. :)

Big Changes Headed Our Way!

A lot has happened since I last posted. Isn't that life though? It felt like we were in a holding pattern for a while there. God was making us wait for some big things. I am glad we waited patiently because they are awesome and wonderful things happening in our life right now!
The first huge thing is Matt has been promoted to Principal of the high school he is at now! I am so incredibly proud of him! He is such a hard worker. He did his final interview over Spring Break and got the offer.
With his new promotion came the possibility that I could be a stay at home mommy. It has been my dream to be at home with my boys. I remember talking about it with Matt when we were merely dating. Now it is a possibility and about to become a reality. Today I signed and turned in my letter of resignation.
I thought a couple of months ago, when we started mulling around the idea of it, that I would miss teaching. I think I will, but there was such peace about my decision today. I feel so incredibly blessed that come June, we don't have to worry about child care, sick days, doctor's appointments, or our little guys missing mommy and daddy. It is just going to simplify our lives.
I am so excited to be fully present in my home with my boys and support my husband in his new adventure at work. There is so much excitement ahead for us and I can't wait to share more!

Life

Sometimes life is crazy. We've all been there. My life is super crazy right now. I am trying (struggling) to balance being a mama, a wife, a teacher, a curriculum writer, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a human who needs time to breathe.
I am struggling to find a balance, if there is one.
Life is crazy, but always amazing.

Focus T 25

This summer I asked for the Insanity workout program for my birthday and got it! I completed the full 60 days and got amazing results. It was super challenging but so rewarding. I have never worked so hard in a workout!
Here are my befores and after shots (if there really is such a thing as after).

Before Insanity

After Insanity

After side view

     

Before side view

Then school started and life got busy. Matt and I continued to do our Insanity workouts before work, but it was becoming more and more challenging as work picked up. I was intrigued by Focus T 25 for a couple of reasons, one being Shaun T of course, and

the other the 25 minutes. I love Shaun T! He is so inspirational. His workouts are effective and push me beyond my limits. I was sold! Plus 25 minutes is perfect when you are working out at 4:45 am!

So today, I started my Focus T 25 workout. Its 10 weeks for 25 minutes a day. I will tell you, I am feeling my glutes. I am pumped to see results. I plan on updating on my progress so I can see how far I have come. woohoo!

Here are my befores for Focus T 25.

  

Cheers to meeting goals and feeling good!

The Happiness Project

Over Christmas break, I made it a goal to read more. One of my favorite things is my Kindle.

The library has so many digital books that are instantly delivered to the Kindle. I was browsing and found the book The Happiness Project. I was intrigued to say the least.

I devoured the book, following the author, Gretchen Rubin, through on year of resolutions to make herself happier. I found myself agreeing with so much of what she said. In the book, Gretchen picks a different resolution for each month. One month she focuses on organization, her husband, her children, trying new things, etc.. All in the hopes of finding if these actions made her happy.

As I read, many resonated with me. Specifically, attacking nagging tasks, exercising, being a "treasure house of memories." These are things that make me happy too. I was inspired to begin  a happiness journal. Each day I record short phrases or words about what made me happy that day or blessings I am thankful for. I am really enjoying the process of looking at the big things, but also the little things too. Yesterday it was, burritos, clean sheets, and Yark. I feel happier when I think of all the things I have and not the things I don't.

I really recommend this book, even if you are happy! Its great food for thought.

Today, choose happiness!

Why I am taking a break from Facebook

On New Year's eve, I posted on my Facebook that it was time to simplify my life and take a break from Facebook, maybe even delete the entire thing. I have been contemplating this for a long time.
Over the past several months, Facebook has become this habit for me, maybe even an addiction. Yikes, that sounds kind of scary. But that is what it had become. It was so easy to push that little blue button on my screen and see what other people were up to, and as a result disengage with my current moment.
My time was never productive. Instead it took me away from being present in the moment I was currently living in. Being brutally honest with myself, it meant I was disengaged with the people most important to me; my husband, my kids, my family and friends. And for what?
I found myself looking at other peoples' posts and feeling myself comparing my life with others. I easily forget what a facade social networks are. We can easily edit out the messy piles of laundry, the children throwing tantrums, the money problems, job issues, and post pictures about how life is great.
It is one of my goals this year to be fully present wherever I am. I owe it to myself, and to the people around me.
I have logged in to Facebook occasionally, mainly to see new baby pictures. It is a way to connect, but I have significantly cut down on my time and my own posts.
It has felt good to keep my time limited. I am not sure if I will eventually delete it, but this feels right for right now.

Happy New Year!

2014 is here and filled with possibilities! I always feel excited for what may lie ahead in a coming year.
This is the first year that Jack was really into the holidays. He was very excited for New Year's. I am not sure he really understands what it is, but he sure loves a good celebration.
To bring in the "new year" with the kids, we had a movie night. We brought out our comforter, pillows and blankets and laid down on the floor to watch a silly Netflix movie. The kids loved it!

We have had these New Year's hats for a long time. Jack knew they were in the garage so he asked if we could get them out. So we all donned our New Year's hats. They went to bed around 7:30 and then it was time for just me and Matt.

Our first attempt at a family picture. Henry ran the other way.

My little gentlemen

After the kiddos went to bed, Matt and I enjoyed the quiet. We played our favorite game, and chatted about what we have accomplished in 2013 and what things lie ahead in 2014.
Our friend, Dan, came over and we played more Dominion, rang in the new year and then it was time for bed.
Its funny thinking how much pressure we used to feel on New Year's eve, but I say that our evening was pretty perfect.